Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
