what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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