1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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