just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize