Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
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some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
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Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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