I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
