Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Houston, we have a blender
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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