It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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