i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
