Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
