i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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