so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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