He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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