I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
