Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize