I wanna bring you to show and tell
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
