Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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