I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
