He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
