I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
