he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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