I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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