We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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