I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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