garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
