I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
