I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
