But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
