you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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