Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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