how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
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He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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