omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just want to make out with him forever
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
