carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
