Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong