Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (737): View more from Texas

  You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?

  (1-737): View more from Texas

  That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there

  (737): View more from Texas

  It's my parent's restaurant

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  (737): You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot? (1-737): That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there (737): It's my parent's restaurant http://tfl.nu/0xzo
  Replies (8) Good night (1033) Bad night (2672)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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  (810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r
  Replies (1) Good night (1499) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  None

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  (515): I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards (1-515): None http://tfl.nu/5j7f
  Replies (17) Good night (3328) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

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  (540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j
  Replies (26) Good night (1013) Bad night (4544)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old

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  (201): At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old http://tfl.nu/03p8
  Replies (9) Good night (4473) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.

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  (613): Will you be topless? That will affect my answer. http://tfl.nu/lf7u
  Replies (19) Good night (6160) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

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  (201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil
  Replies (20) Good night (1626) Bad night (2862)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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  (647): the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is. http://tfl.nu/ndxc
  Replies (8) Good night (4436) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.

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  (858): No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter. http://tfl.nu/lm85
  Replies (17) Good night (3213) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.

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  (989): I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep. http://tfl.nu/zu0y
  Replies (1) Good night (903) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?

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  (208): And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs? http://tfl.nu/xb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (1441) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough

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  (+44): He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough http://tfl.nu/6ovf
  Replies (5) Good night (439) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool

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  (425): When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool http://tfl.nu/u20j
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night

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  (412): i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night http://tfl.nu/3wkg
  Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was

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  (510): i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was http://tfl.nu/ppih
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (274)

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