Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i must have dtf stamped on my forehead

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  (919): i must have dtf stamped on my forehead http://tfl.nu/gk7r
  Replies (41) Good night (2858) Bad night (668)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...

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  (484): Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age... http://tfl.nu/y336
  Replies (63) Good night (3685) Bad night (2627)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

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  (202): Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology. http://tfl.nu/sp8t
  Replies (32) Good night (9988) Bad night (1127)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic

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  (317): The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic http://tfl.nu/lvdi
  Replies (17) Good night (15997) Bad night (1277)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

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  (815): i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since. (1-815): you need to get laid.. and an oil change. http://tfl.nu/z8d3
  Replies (18) Good night (1711) Bad night (4952)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..

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  (785): Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine.. http://tfl.nu/247z
  Replies (8) Good night (4780) Bad night (1506)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.

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  (770): She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut. http://tfl.nu/onts
  Replies (29) Good night (5675) Bad night (1225)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?

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  (248): Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet? http://tfl.nu/so9l
  Replies (9) Good night (2165) Bad night (1770)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend

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  (678): i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend http://tfl.nu/xiia
  Replies (7) Good night (3675) Bad night (1104)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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  (334): Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions. http://tfl.nu/wk8c
  Replies (1) Good night (1288) Bad night (668)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.

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  (785): I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail. http://tfl.nu/ahrd
  Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (1910)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?

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  (781): Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge? http://tfl.nu/a35e
  Replies (1) Good night (1454) Bad night (536)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"

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  (801): He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick" http://tfl.nu/sbhu
  Replies (6) Good night (414) Bad night (904)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS

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  (647): YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS http://tfl.nu/r5xh
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (629)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.

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  (860): I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs. (860): My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/2uqc
  Replies (4) Good night (410) Bad night (923)

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