Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.

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  (406): When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up. http://tfl.nu/pzz5
  Replies (26) Good night (7844) Bad night (694)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk

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  (516): i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk http://tfl.nu/o6oo
  Replies (63) Good night (9489) Bad night (724)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.

  (845): View more from New York

  Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.

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  (845): I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell. (845): Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts. http://tfl.nu/04jv
  Replies (18) Good night (7357) Bad night (983)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...

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  (910): when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going... http://tfl.nu/keeg
  Replies (106) Good night (1596) Bad night (10460)
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  (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  (415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk
  Replies (25) Good night (9243) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  six.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh, I thought it was higher.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  No, that would be the Matt's

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  (904): Another one? Damn, how many David's is that? (1-904): six. (904): Oh, I thought it was higher. (1-904): No, that would be the Matt's http://tfl.nu/8llg
  Replies (33) Good night (6714) Bad night (1591)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come find me please? Im in a ditch.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  That doesn't help me much...

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm right under the moon!

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  (604): Come find me please? Im in a ditch. (1-604): That doesn't help me much... (604): I'm right under the moon! http://tfl.nu/u7hc
  Replies (15) Good night (14070) Bad night (1237)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.

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  (630): i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered. http://tfl.nu/mib4
  Replies (6) Good night (2813) Bad night (908)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men

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  (404): it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men http://tfl.nu/z2fi
  Replies (20) Good night (1415) Bad night (3284)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.

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  (701): He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon. http://tfl.nu/hvqj
  Replies (5) Good night (1583) Bad night (761)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
  Replies (3) Good night (1843) Bad night (525)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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  (937): Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work. http://tfl.nu/wxxj
  Replies (13) Good night (3029) Bad night (579)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.

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  (814): I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's. http://tfl.nu/kzl8
  Replies (4) Good night (559) Bad night (291)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old

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  (713): haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old http://tfl.nu/ipmn
  Replies (1) Good night (293) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?

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  (870): too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush. (870): Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman? http://tfl.nu/9w4v
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (159)

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