people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
