You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
His hands were made for my vagina.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
