I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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