...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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