Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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