You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
