And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
