I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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