I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
