Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize