I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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