can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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