Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
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can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
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Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler