I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.