We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i dont even know how to be here
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions