A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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