just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
PANTIES FOUND
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