do herpes really smell.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
