I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
