Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
