I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
