he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
