He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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