Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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