I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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