I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
