my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
