You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
